Author Archives: Roy

When America was Great

I remember when America was great, I think it was about a year ago, before we realised that an
idiot had a chance of winning the presidency, back when America was a welcoming place, when the New York Times and the Boston globe were celebrated by the masses as the quality source of news that they are, rather than fake and everyone seemed to realise  Breitbart was just sensationalist, conspiracy theory spouting claptrap, I could go on but the thing is America seemed to be steadily improving as time went by until Trump, hopefully we won’t be forever looking back and marking 2016 as the last time America was Great.

Why I Hate MyTaxi

There are many things I dislike about MyTaxi (formerly Hailo) but there is just the one thing that I hate and that will eventually cause me to delete the App, that is Driver Rating.
in my experience:
Some customers use a baseline of 3 and rate up or down from there.
Some customers only give five stars if there particular favourite type of car show up.
Some customers only give five stars to brand new (current year) car/
Some customers only give five stars to chatty drivers others only give them to quiet ones.
Some use the rating system as an opportunity to lord it over drivers using the threat of a low rating.
I for one will absolutely delete the App as soon as my rating doesn’t appeal to me circa 4.5, thankfully I don’t depend on these Apps for my livelihood …. nor should any competent Taxi driver.

10 things Taxi Drivers wish Cyclists Understood

1 – Sometimes passengers wish to alight where there is a cycle lane, dropping them 2 km further on when the lane ends isn’t an option.
2 – Same goes when passengers want to get in, often they are elderly or otherwise not lucky enough to be able to cycle (might be you someday?) Just wait the two mins until they get in.
3 – You share the bus lanes with us and the buses, they are not your personal raceway, be considerate
4 – Traffic lights apply to all road traffic, they are not optional.
5 – Indicating that you are turning right/left does not remove the necessity to check that it is safe to do so.
6 – Use the bike paths, they may not always be great and bikes may not be obliged to use them, but just like cars put up with poor roads (bikes take to the pavement)  bikes should put up with the cycle paths?
7 – We’re not telepathic, if you’re going to career out into our path try let us know, there are age old methods for so doing.
8 – Sometimes we get angry, if a cyclist uses us as an implement to try and kill them selves … it can be very infuriating.
9 –  Taxi passengers are often drunk or otherwise incapacitated and while we try and control them they often open doors at inappropriate times, if you are near a stopped cab … be aware of this probability.
10 – Passengers are our livelihood, if you see one thing to hail us down the likelihood is we’re going to try to stop for them, so why not contemplate that and make allowances instead of being a complete asswipe about it.

Will Belfast experiment drive other Irish Taxis out of Bus lanes?

They are about to allow Taxis into the Bus lanes in Belfast ….. currently occupied by Cyclists and buses.
This will prove disastrous, Buses will hate Taxis and the Cyclists with despise them sharing their previously exclusive space.
Odds are Taxis will be removed after the 12 week trial …. possibly leading to a discussion down here on whether we should be similarly barred.

Uber taken for a ride

Irish Taxi drivers have taken Uber for a ride, unlike other jurisdictions where Uber had a private hire sector to latch on to, in Ireland this sector had already been enveloped into the Taxi business through deregulation of the industry back in 2000, so when Uber arrived in Ireland it tried to engage with the Taxi sector rather than the private hire it was familiar with.
Irish Taxi Drivers quickly adopted the service because of the generous subsidies being offered to do so:
€150 offered for each driver that another driver invited to the service, this saw drivers earning a weeks wage simply by getting other drivers to sign up.
Guaranteed hourly rates saw drivers in quiet suburban neighbourhoods logged on to the service whilst sitting in their houses watching TV and eating dinner, knowing the possibility of having to actually work was very slim on an application only recently launched in the country.
Some drivers even used Uber vouchers to bring their own wives and family (including themselves) to restaurants and pubs.
Most drivers then left Uber as soon as the subsidies dried up, mainly because of the bad reputation the company had worldwide for it’s treatment of drivers.

Are we an embarrassment to our kids?

Below is an extract from a South African newspaper, discussing an entrant for a beauty pageant, to be honest I wasn’t too surprised to read that the girl was embarrassed that her dad was a lowly Taxi driver. but hadn’t considered that is probably the norm …… perhaps even within my own family?


Biopelo Mabe from Alexandra took her place among the 12 finalists for Miss South Africa 2017. A daughter of a taxi driver, Mabe said she was embarrassed by her father’s job.

“You know, being the daughter of a taxi driver was hard. I grew up embarrassed because of my dad’s profession but at some point I had to accept that this is what he does for a living.”

Know your Taxi drivers!

A Forum members (Nokia 6310) take on the type of vehicle/drivers operating with the various “dispatchers”, no offence meant …just for fun.


Hailo; wanked out 08 Mondeo, probably a rental, lives in a bedsit off the north circular, hailo sticker covering the rust, does 18 hours most days, never drinks, sends the money home.

Uber; the wife works in the civil service so financed him a 2010 BMW 5-Series out of garage off the Naas road, wears a Ralph Lauren shirt from Kildare village, takes the roofsign off before coming home, calls passengers “clients”, lives in Tyrrelstown but says castleknock, up to his bollix in drip.

NRC; 2006 Silver Avensis, moustached, lives in Beaumont, been driving a taxi for 30 years, does the same hours every day, drinks beamish.

CAB2000; 2010 Skoda Octavia, hates Hailo with a passion, lives in Greenwood, used to have a great job but jacked it in to go taxiing in 2003, has 2 kids and one from a previous, likes the darts.

Lynk; 2012 Skoda Superb; calculates to the penny including depreciation how much they’ve made by the hour, fond of Paddy Power, best seen in packs at the Topaz in the airport, Bluetooth headset, goes anywhere for a fare, lives in a rental gaff in Dublin 15.

Local firms; 2004 Avensis, no meter seal, they know who’s riding who, giving out about the 6 month NCTS, MC Donald’s coffee, 6 penalty points, hates town, another regular in Paddy Powers, lives in spitting distance from the base.

The Kesh; 2007 Sonata (wanked out S Class if they could) divorced (but has a new mot) January in Thailand, roofsign never plugged in, fleece in the back window, knows who owns that block of apartments there, hates the 10 year rule, union payer and proud of it, brings ya through Finglas on the way to Raheny, slacks and shoes, lives in Kinsealy, in the pub by 4pm and driving home by 7pm.

Things Irish Taxi drivers might say to Joe Duffy

Special thanks to Spinal Tap over on the Forum: (Joe Duffy is an Irish radio presenter of the popular show “Liveline”

Joe, my driver license renewal went up 3000%.
Joe, I havta work 100 hours a week to make what I’d get on the dole.
Joe, I bought a car and the NTA said it’s too small to be used as a taxi.
Joe, I can’t get finance.
Joe, I can only transfer my license when I’m dead.
Joe, when theres garda checkpoints 5000 illegal taxis dissappear.
Joe, the Nigerians aren’t vetted.
Joe, the public does’nt care.
Joe, the regulator won’t meet with us.
Joe, I’m not entitled to social welfare.
Joe, I emigrated for 5 years, came back and now my license can’t be renewed.
Joe, I was attacked and robbed and the fella only got a caution. I picked him up again a few days later.
Joe, I’d be arrested if they found a screwdriver in my car.
Joe, I’m not allowed carry mace but I can carry a can of deoderant. Where’s the logic.
Joe, I never knew about all these new regulations.
Joe, I shouldn’t havta clean up vomit.
Joe, there’s all draconian age rules now.
Joe, 49 taxi drivers have committed suicide since the beginning of the year.
Joe, the dog doesn’t recognise me anymore.
Joe, the fella ye have on there doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Joe, it’s illegal to ask a customer for a deposit.
Joe, all we want is a level playing field.
Joe, there’s no money driving a taxi.
Joe, I bought four houses in the good times. Now the banks are coming after me.
Joe, I pay tax and insurance.
Joe, the taxi industry is the most regulated industry in ireland.
Joe, if I’m off the road I can’t make money.
Joe, I usta be able to take my roof sign off. the door stickers identify my taxi to robbers now.
Joe, I made a good living, not a great living.
Joe, I’ve a list of names of foreign drivers in my car.
Joe, we raised money to send a foreign driver home to see his sick mother.
Joe, my car just past the NCT but I’m told it can’t be used as a taxi anymore.
Joe, I havta replace my immaculate mercedes even though a wheelchair taxi can be used forever.
Joe, ye can be waiting there and only get a fare around the corner.
Joe, I’m not trained to use a fire extinguisher.
Joe, theres thousands of drivers with criminal convictions.
Joe, if the driver is not on the app he’s illegal.
Joe, the industry is ruined.
Joe, it’s too late to fix the industry.
Joe, who’d give me a job.
Joe, my insurance doubled for no reason.
Joe, I know a driver who was quoted nineteen grand for insurance.
Joe, I’ve nothing against the foreign drivers. That’s being honest.
Joe, there’s 6 enforcement officers to police 30,000 taxis.
Joe, I predicted all this years ago.
Joe, I don’t know how it’ll all end.
Joe, I don’t have to be able to speak English to drive a taxi.
Joe, the industry should be handed back to the guards.
Joe, I was waiting months for my psv license from the guards.
Joe, the taxi regulator is on six figures.
Joe, they’re only reading off a script.
Joe, I shouldn’t be in this predicament at this stage of my life.
Joe, the price of fuel is putting me out of business.
Joe, I keep getting cut off.
Joe, I forget what I was gonna say.
Joe, I havta go now.

Everything, ever said, in a TAXI

Special thanks to Spinal tap over on the forum for this list:

“I wouldn’t say you’re busy, are ye.”
“Are you first.”
“You’re not black, are ye?”
“Where ye from, Poland?”
“Do ye speak English.”
“Ye look chinese from behind.”
“Why don’t you take credit cards.”
“Why can’t I eat.”
“Why can’t I bring my drink.”
“I won’t spill it.”
“I’m paying for this taxi”( i.e., I can do what I want.)
“Have ye got a radio.”
“That’s not you in the picture.”
“The darkies have this game ruined, don’t they.”
“There’s too many taxis, isn’t there.”
“It’s impossible to get a taxi.”
“It’s like the Carslberg ad.”
“Why aren’t you on hailo.”
“What do ye think about uber.”
“You’re mad doing this job.” (i.e., this is a shit job.)
“I wouldn’t do this job.” (i.e., this job is beneath me.)
“I did this job years ago. I made my money and got out of it.”
“I did this job years ago. There was no money in it.”
“I/he/she won’t get sick.”
“Will ye stick 4 in the back.”
“Are ye on long?”
“I’d say you’ve been parked there a few hours, have ye.”
“I remember when I had to walk home to Balbriggan from town.”
“What’s this, a Camry?”
“Your seatbelts are broken.”
“Mister Taximan.”
“I only have €50.” (for a fiver fare)
“You’re a posh kunnt.”
“You don’t look/sound like a taxi driver.”
“You’re very quiet. Is there something wrong with ye.”
“If you don’t make money tonight you’ll never make it.”
“How much money do you make a week.”
“How much is your insurance.”
“What do you spend on fuel a week.”
“How much was this car.”
“How many hours a week do you work.”
“How many miles do ye do a year.”
“Ye must be a hungry kunnt.”
“Ah you’re only a part timer.”
“Are ye married.”
“Do ye have kids.”
“Are you a bender.”
“I got into a taxi driven by a black fella and there was a chinee in the picture.”
“I was in a taxi once and the driver fell asleep on the M50 and I had to grab the wheel.”
“I got an Indian driver the other day and he told me he’s only in the country a week.”
“Why did the guards give all these blacks licenses.”
“I’m suprised your car is clean. They’re usually filthy.”
“Will ye bring her home. She has money I think.”
“Are ye dangerous. Bring her home safely will ye.”
“He looks OK but text me when you’re home Sandra.”
“You sound too intelligent to be a taxi driver.”
“You’re a stupid kunnt. No wonder you drive a taxi.”
“I havta run into my apartment block to get money.”
“The code on the gate is 9526843.”
“I’m not gonna pull a burn on ye pal.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get paid.”
“A big Mac meal, 2 medium cokes, 2 large chips, 2 cheeseburgers and a portion of onion rings.”
“Give us your phone there for a second.”
“Tell me about yourself.”
“What do ye do when you’re not driving a taxi.”
“Where do ye live.”
“Has anyone ever offered ye a blowjob when they had no money.”
“I’m going somewhere but I don’t know where it is.”
“Oh, you’re irish.”
“It’s very quiet around, isn’t it.”
“There’s nobody in there.” (i.e., you’re foolish for parking outside.)
“How come all those taxis are parked there.”
“Why are those taxis allowed park on double yellow lines.”
“Is this an official rank?”
“How long is this going to take.”
“Is this the fastest route?”
“€4.00 and the car hasn’t even moved yet.”
“Why did it cost €7.00. I never pay more than €6.00.”
“What are those extras for.”
“I’m reporting you to the carriage office.”
“How do I get lost property back.”
“This is a public service vehicle isn’t it.”
“left. no, right. no, left.”
“Will ye bother going back there now.”
“You’d want to be clearing x amount a week to make any kind of living.”
“You’re not allowed ask me for a deposit.”
“Your seats are damp here. I hope it’s not piss.”
“You’re driving very slowly.”
“Go around him, he’s a learner.”
“Ye could have gone through those lights.”
“You pulled away there and I didn’t have my belt on. It’s your responsibility to make sure it’s on.”
“It’s a tough job isn’t it. After your tax, insurance, fuel and maintenance costs you’ve very little left.”
“You’d be better off on the dole.”
“At least you’re working.”
“If you’re car breaks down you’re off the road aren’t ye.”
“Ye can’t make any money if you’re off the road, sure ye can’t. ”
“you’ve a bearing gone.”
“These seats are too nice for a taxi. They’ll be ruined in no time.”
“Get into the bus lane there. It’s quicker.”
“How’s the economy really doing. They say you should always ask taxi drivers to get a real picture.”
“There has to be money in this game. I don’t care what any of you taxi drivers say.”
“Are things picking up or are ye still struggling.”
“Do ye get many runners.”
“The Kesh, that’s what they call the airport isn’t it?”
“How much do people usually tip you.”
I say this to every taxi driver.”
“I wouldn’t walk through (*insert crime free affluent area) at night.”
“That’s a dump where you’re living. I got out of the there years ago.”
“Those gates are there to keep taxi drivers out.”
“Don’t ye have to pass some sort of test to become a taxi driver?”
“I got jumped there and got my nose broken for no reason.”
“Kunnts don’t like me for some reason.”
“Would you be one of these racist drivers?”
“Will ye wait here till I find my house keys.”
“Don’t you think my husband is a bastard.”
“Will ye wait here and watch me. I’m afraid to walk down that lane.”
“Hang on a second. I wanna make sure she gets in. She’s had problems in the past.”
“Fukk that kunnt. Go.”
“Only kn@ckers live around here.”
“Do you wanna go out with me sometime?”
“Do you think I’m ugly?”
“Why are you rejecting me?”
“Don’t be shy.”
“What do ye be doing parked here at this hour.”
“Do you not have a home to go to?”
“You look like you should be in a home.”
“God love ye. Isn’t it terrible.”
“Do ye not work?”
“Ye mean to tell me your car isn’t always this clean?”
“Why don’t you always keep your car clean?”
“Slow right down. I don’t want to be near that taxi in front.” ”
“They’ll be wondering why I’m not going with them. Pull in here and wait a while.”
“Do ye like picking up girls or fellas?
“I wouldn’t pick a girl up on her own. She’d tell people you tried to rape her.”
“I’d say people have made a few false allegations against ye, have they?”
“It’s against the law to film people.”
“Don’t work too hard now.”
“I think I’ve had you before.” (*countless times)
“What’s going on here. Any idea?”
“There’s blacks/indians/chinese sharing the same car and driving them 24/7 isn’t there. That’s not right.”
“The black cab taxi drivers in london don’t talk to ye at all.”
“Why are taxis not painted yellow like in every other country.”
“You should get yourself a protective screen. It probably wouldn’t work though.”
“It only takes one bad fare and you’re dead, isn’t that right.”
“Take the scenic long route.”
“I don’t give a fukk anymore.”
“Oh fukk is that a milk float?”
“Are you new.”
“Get a real job.”
“I’m a lady, ye can’t treat me like this.”
“Look at the fox.”
“I’ve pyrite.”
“Do you know what annoys me about taxi drivers.”
“Yiz made a fortune during the bus strike.”
“You bastards will be striking next.”
“Yiz held this town to ransom for years.”
“What do people be talking about when you pick them up.”
“When I drove a taxi I tried to get as many fares as possible.”
“I couldn’t get into the car anymore.”
“I could attack you and there’s nothing you could do.”
“You could attack me and there’s nothing I could do.”
“It’s for my safety and yours, you understand don’t you.”
“A fukkin mosque?”
“I hope they blow up my house.”
“What time do ye get out of bed.”
“Ah its OK. Don’t worry about it.” (*”bastard” mumbled under the breath)
“You’re odd.”
“Ye probably have weapons.”
“Do ye keep a comb in the car.”
“I’m wide to ye pal.”
“Michael O’Leary brings millions of tourists to this country. That’s good for you.”
“I can’t believe ye didnt know he had a taxi plate.”
“Do ye mean I could use the bus lanes if I had a taxi?”
“You’re not allowed use bus lanes unless you’ve someone in the car.”
“You can pick people up off the street can’t ye. That’s great isn’t it.”
“I can’t see in the dark.”
“Who was sitting here before me.”
“Are you a certified driver?”
“Ye brought all this on yourselves.”
“I walked away from my debts.”
“I’m a workaholic.”
“Ye didn’t have a chance, did ye.”
“Move over, I’m driving.”
“The Gresham rank is controlled by a mob isn’t it.”
“I prefer the foreigners to the irish lads.”
“The fella in front is in a coma.”
“Beep your horn at that w****r.”
“I’m taking you. Your light is the brightest.”
“Do ye ever just sit there and think.”
“What are ye looking at?”
“If he won’t drop him home he’s getting out here with me and that’s all you’ll get.” (*yuppie/toff haggler)
“Ye have to play the game sometimes. You’re a sport.” (*yuppie/toff haggler rebuked)
“They love the irish over there.”
“They should all be sent back home.”
“I have horses.” (Posh accent)
“I have horses.” (traveller accent)
“Didje pay your water charges.”
“Are those signs in miles or kilometres.”
“What speed are ye doing now.”
“Can I hold your hand.”
“Can ye pause the meter.”
“Ye owe me another 20 cent change.”
“I can’t walk in these heels.”
“Why are ye doing 80 in a 60 zone.”
“This is only 60 along here. It should be 80.”
“I’m gonna sit here and be quiet. Ye don’t mind, do ye.”
“Wayne Rooney is the best player in the world.”
“Wha? Suarez isn’t a diver.”
“It’s dodgy working town. Ye could be brought anywhere, isn’t that right.”
“I was kidnapped by a taxi driver once. But he let me go when I paid the fare.”
“Well you’re not getting that.”
“You’ll be watching the budget won’t ye.”
“People stay in for a while after the budget because they’re worried.”
“I’m a millionaire, but only on paper.”
“I was 13 when I lost my virginity.”
“Taxi drivers are supposed to be entertaining.”
“Taxi driving – the silent killer.”
“I believe suicide is rampant in this game.”
“I can’t move.”
I can’t remember where I live.”
“Oh, I’m home.”
“Where’s my other friend that was with me?”
“Your man in the front seat there will pay.” (*they’re on their own.)
“Straight on pal, straight on.” (*eyes closed.)
“RIGHT/LEFT” (*said far too late).
“Ye went by my turn.”(*repeated attempts to obtain destination were ignored).
“That was a roundabout ye went through there.”
“Run that cyclist down, will ye.”
“He’s a kunnt. But I love him to bits.”
“I bet ye wish I was the one getting out.”
“I bet ye wish I was getting in and he was getting out.”
“Ye don’t drink. Ye don’t smoke. Ye don’t do drugs. What do ye do then?”
“Ye look like a kiddy fiddler in that picture.”
“You’ll be glad of all these coins.”
“That’s a mad place in there.”
“Is this what are taxes pay for.”
“I was dying the next day. Musta been a bad pint or something.”
“The Aviva.”
“Bórd Gáis Energy theatre.”
“Three Arena.”
“You’re lovely, aren’t ye?”
“Why are ye smiling?”
“There ye go and I want change.”
“Do i have to take you?”
“I’m not walking to the top of the queue.”
“I can get in any car I want. That’s my right, isn’t it?
“I was waiting there a long time for this driver I know. He’s a dreadful hungry kunnt.”
“I always pick the newest car on the rank.”
“There’s some awful bangers out there isn’t there.”
“The other drivers will be angry with ye now, won’t they.”
“We’re going to (stated destination), aren’t we? Oh, I was just making sure.”
“Are ye including a tip for yourself in that?”
“hurry up with my change, will ye.”
“Fukk’s sake, keep it.”
“I made a fortune driving a taxi. But I lost it all.”
“Does this seat recline?”
“You’re obliged to take me.”
“Didje always plan to end up driving a taxi.”
“I’m locked.”
“I didn’t mean to be rude to ye. I’ve a few jars on me is all.”
“That’s part of the job, isn’t it?”
“When will the people rise up.”
“I would be from a republican background.”
“Thanks for listening to me.”
“Didje see any of the golf?”
“We hate their country yet we’ll support their teams.”
“I saw a drink receipt for a pub in temple bar once.”
“Up the RA.”
“What’s that annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP sound.”
“I’m nearly home. I’ll let it keep beeping.”
“They took one look at me and they wouldn’t let me in. I’m not a scumbag.”
“As for you, you fukk off.”
“We’re over on a stag.”
“Have ye ever done anything interesting in your life?”
“I was in the casino all night. Ah I did alright.”
“I’m not kissing you goodbye.”
“Sure how would you know. You’re only a taxi driver.”
“This is a free taxi, isn’t it.”
“Ye don’t care, do ye?”
“I’d say ye get kneed in the back all the time with this car.”
“I’m just opening a window.” (*On the M50.)
“I’m afraid of the port tunnel.”
“That was a no right turn. Do you realise that.”
“You’re not recording me, are ye?”
“Is that a police car, an ambulance or a fire brigade?”
“I hope that’s not a crash. I’m gonna be late now.”
“Can ye not just do something.”
“Slow down, I wanna see what’s going on.”
“The black fellas are notorious for interfering with themselves, aren’t they.”
“All I could see were the eyes.”
“Don’t let him in. Drive.”
“I’m not racialist.”
“He’s letting you out, go on for jaysus sake.”
“God be with the days.”(*said inexplicably for no apparent reason)
“Where’s all the taxis?”
“Can ye ring a 7 seater for us?”
“Just shave it off.”
“Is your hair shaved?”
“I can see the stubble.”
“Can I stroke the back of your head.”
“Would ye like a massage?”
“I think you should park your car, come in and join us.”
“It’s full of pretentious arseholes around here isn’t it.”
“They’re up their own holes around here.”
“I don’t know why I go to these places.”
“My wife is obese. She can’t leave the house.”
“That’s a company car, incase you’re wondering about the nordy plates.”
“You’d be better off with an automatic.”
“Do ye not go home with a sore left leg?”
“€2 drinks all night.”
“€10 to get in to the place. Fukk’s sake.”
“Gimme all those receipts.”
“What’s the story with those glasses?”
“How does a taxi become a taxi.”
“Do you have a switch for the roof light?”
“You must love all this rain.”
“That’s a fifty I’m giving ye now.”
“I’ve only water in the bottle.”
“Is it raining? What’s that on the windshield.”
“I’m barred from nearly every pub in Dublin.”
“Where do ye keep your money.”
“Did that mirror meter come with the car?”
“Does the meter still keep going up when we’re parked in traffic?”
“(*loud deliberate sigh)”.
“Ye get a better rate during the day don’t ye.”
“My drink keeps getting spiked in that kip.”
“I’m a good lookin guy.”
“The women love me.”
“What does the temperature say? I knew it was cold.”
“I missed the train now I have to spend €20 on a taxi.”
“I’m glad I’m not you now.”
“Will my car be all right parked there overnight.”
“Where were ye going just now?”
“I’ve never seen you before and I always get taxis.”
“What do ye do when ye need to go the toilet.”
“All taxis should have tachographs.”
“high insurance is great cos it’ll get rid of all the bogeys won’t it.”
“You’re supposed to be a taxi driver.”
“How come you don’t know where any brothels are.”
“It’s six and half a dozen, isnt it?”
“Weeda been better off going the other way now.”
“You’re the taximan, you should know.”
“I want to tell you about something now. Don’t worry I won’t keep you too long.”
“I’d do a great job running this country.”
“You’ll be out of a job when these driverless cars come in soon.”
“Ye don’t drink or smoke? I’d say you’re an awful miserable bastard.”
“Ye don’t drink? Did ye have a problem with the gargle years ago.”
“That’s a cop car behind you. Oh wait, its only a fukkin taxi.”
“I was like you. I went back into education and now I’m a pilot.”
“And you’re happy enough doing this job? Well, at least that’s something.”
“I don’t believe you when you say you like doing this job.”
“This used to be all different years ago.”
“Be careful the taxi man is listening.”
“Where do you go clubbing yourself?”
“Do ye mind if I do a line in the back here.”
“Will ye wait outside incase they don’t let me in.”
“I hope I didn’t bore you.”
“I’m not annoying the taximan, am I? Tell her I’m not.”
“Drive it like you stole it.”
“We’re all travellers.”
“I’ve me PSV license and everything.”
“I sold me plate cos I couldn’t pass the driver theory test.”
“Are there many hacks still driving.”
“If you scratched your head around 4 taxis would pull up beside you.”
“There’s more taxis in dublin than new york. Did ye know that.”
“Wait till I show you where the speed vans are. That’s where they do be parked.”
“You’re all right, there’s nothing coming.”
“Is it 3 in the morning? I was supposed to be home by 9.”
“I hope they have an ATM in there.”
“Will ye go as fast as ye can.”
“We’ll send the babysitter out now.”
“I paid 450 grand for this. now I’ve dole spongers living either side of me.”
“You’re your own boss. There’s a lot to be said for it.”
“It wasn’t me. It had to of been the taxi driver.”
“What’s that noise coming from the glove box.”
“Someone left something on the floor back here. Oh wait, it’s the floor mat.”
“Bring us to an early house, will ye.”
“I was on big brother. Do you watch it?”
“Are there many tourists about?”
“What’s your busiest time of year.”
“You’ll probably take all of January off now will ye.”
“Ye know what they say, make hay while the sun shines.”
“Just do your best son. That’s all ye can do in the end.”
“I hate taxi drivers.”
“Taxi drivers think they own the road.”
“I’m suprised. Taxi drivers are usually moaning.”
“Is this a good job. Would I make money doing it.”
“I owned all this land and I gave it away for nothing.”
“I’ve 30 plates myself.”
“That’s a crap meter. You want a semitron.”
“That’s incorrect. my plates are all transferable.”
“Are ye waiting here for somebody.”
“Do ye not know where your going?”
“Oh ye know where your going, do ye?”
“Yer probably lookin at your sat nav or something.”
“Here, I’m talking to ye. Are ye deaf?”
“I’m only going around the corner. Race back there and you’ll get another few fares. You’ll be grand.”
“Drop me home, will ye.”
“the boom years were good.”
“Oh, we just presumed you knew where we’re going.”
“Howya Graham/Brian/Dave/Thingy.”
“Tell me something interesting. I don’t care what it is.”
“Do ye always work nights.”
“Do ye ever worry about yer woman at home what she might be up to.”
“Keep your light off driving through here.”
“Jaysus fair play to you. I wouldn’t a bleedin pick me self up if I saw meself.”
“This is the longer way but ye might as well keep going now.”
“Are we on the south side yet.”
“Ye know who I am, don’t ye.”
“That’s who I am. Google my name later if ye don’t believe me.”
“Do ye pick up many scumbags?”
“Don’t bother gettin out.”
“Does that boot open?”
“Is this a petrol?”
“Do you shop around before you buy fuel.”
“I bet the driver doesn’t agree with what you’re saying.”
“My marriage broke down years ago.”
“Will ye come in for a glass of water or something.”
“The taxi driver took my phone because I’d no money. Can they do that.”
“Pull in behind that mitsubishi colt. I meant the other side but here is fine.”
“These chicanes are stupid. The yunflas drive faster when they see then.”
“I’m in trouble now when I go home.”
“I dropped money down there. You can keep it.”
“Reverse there now, will ye.”
“You’re prone to depression doing this job I’d say.”
“I tried to end it all there myself a few times.”
“I’m not making ye uncomfortable, am I”
“Do ye mind me asking ye…”
“I’m not paying the soiling charge. I’ll clean it up for ye.”
“You’re trying to make me sick on purpose.”
“Are you enjoying life?”
“Life is for living, isn’t it?
“Us irish are not used to talking about are real feelings.”
“I love you man.”

5 Tips For Taking A taxi In Ireland

We often cross inconvenience to reach our destination, like when you’re late, or because the bus route has been slow to happen, or because we just woke up late, and in these cases is when we need transportation service must take us a comfortable and fast, as is the taxi. In this case we will talk about how to apply a taxi when we travel and some tips and useful tips to make the process less cumbersome transport.
Some tips when you will use a taxi are when we see the taxi, we must make a sign to indicate we want your service, and we place ourselves in a suitable place to not interfere with the taxi or the other traffic; then we must enter the cab through the door that is located next to the sidewalk, and tell you, the driver, to what place we want to go. But this is only the entrance. Remember that when we travel we are tourists and are exposed to high prices, so we will see some advice.
In this article we will give you 5 tips when taking a taxi in Ireland which are:
1. No more data than necessary us the driver
2. try to talk to the driver as you can, this makes the chances that this dishonored appropriate way diminish as we have created empathy with the
3. If the taxi driver produces distrust, do not risk it, no matter if this bothers the driver, the most important is us and our security
4. Always observe that the car has the official license plates for this type of transport but so it is best to get another taxi
5. Do not accept any food, drink or go to play something to show the driver as it could contain a substance somniferous
Taxi service options in Ireland
Here we leave a number of taxi service options in Ireland, rates and places that provide this service safely and reliably. It is often said that there are more taxis than New York and the truth is that, if something is not missing in Ireland are taxis in Ireland. With just over 500,000 inhabitants in the city, this country has more than 16,000 taxis in circulation.
Among the most recognized and important they are:
• Allirelandtaxis: this line of taxis has earned an impeccable reputation and unsurpassed in this country, which provides a first class service. They offer their customers guaranteed quality and reliability with the lowest market rates.
• Taxi caller: a software for Central Taxi Dispatch. This system is based on the cloud and provides a reliable solution available in Ireland directly from your browser. The complete system includes caller ID, fleet management, real-time tracking and more.
• Taxi & Tours Luquillo Puerto Rico: is a family business that is insured and has quickly become one of the highly sought transportation service providers reputable and reliable in Puerto Rico.
So there are many more options in the market but these stand out among them all, so you already have good options when traveling to Ireland without having to be afraid, these lines of taxis and these tips you can take into account you will ensure a happy journey and sure.

Helping out the Stag Parties

Helping out the Stag Parties:

Unlike a typical Hen party (A Bachelorette party for my American readers) who tend to have a full itinerary, with every minute of their weekend planned and possibly even pre booked, stag parties (Bachelors) always seem to want to be drip fed for the entire duration of their visit to the city, with us taxi drivers inevitably being the ones who are doing the feeding.
Generally, this isn’t too difficult a task, as Dublin taxi drivers tend to be well aware of which attractions will appeal to stag parties:
Daytime: The Guinness Store house and the Jameson distillery tour are always very popular maybe Kilmainham gaol if theyare interested in a little history (some are!).
We know what type of food they’ll like: generally it’ll be one of the gourmet burger type places Jo Burger is always a favourite and we can always recommend a good curry house if they are so inclined, after the pub a good Kebab from Zaytoon will go down well too.
We’re aware of which Pub or night club will suit them, these can be age dependent, but Copper face Jacks is always a safe bet, having general appealto all ages and social types.
Some will want a decent Casino and the Fitzwilliam club fits the bill, your Taxi driver will tell you how Ireland’s antiquated membership laws can very easily be overcome.
Most will also want to visit a good gentlemen’s club and surprisingly, many find the subject can be a difficult one for them to broach, they will use all sorts of anecdotes such as: Where are the Girls?, Do we know any Friendly girls? Where are the dancing girls? Rarely will they say that they simply want a lap dance, unfortunately Dublin doesn’t seem to cater for this as well as it might do, we certainly have nothing like (name) in Prague which was recently described to me by just such a group who were over in the Czech Republic on an earlier stag and were looking to go somewhere similar here, I sent them to Lapellos, I really hope they weren’t disappointed!