30km Zone
Roy February 1st, 2010
Fred and Barney (probably too fast for Dublin)
Dublin City council have in their wisdom (sic) set up a 30 km per hour (18 mph in the old language) zone within the city centre area, it operates 24 hours a day 7 days per week.
Whilst Idling and going down the soft decline that is Dawson street I needed to step on the brakes for fear of rolling too fast and getting a ticket.
I’ll be obeying the limit for fear of a crackdown by the Gardai on this new restriction but hope that soon sense will prevail and this ridiculous experiment will be disposed with.
Either that or I’ll buy a set of sails and attach some pedals to the drive shaft
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All WRONG !
This is a stroke of genius !
What you don’t know is: The next step will be another rule that prescribes that every car in the4 30 kph zone will have to be preceded by a man on foot, carrying a red flag. As we all know, this British law was repealed in 1904.
The big difference is: In those early days cars could hardly go faster than a horse-pulled carriage and had no trouble staying behind the man.
Modern cars are designed to be most efficient (most economical as well as least polluting) at speeds around 80-90 kph.
So where does that get us?
My friends: there will be a whole new industry ! Think of all the new jobs that are going to be created.
1. At the beginning of the areas where the limit applies there will be official licensed flag bearers. For a modest fee they will walk in front of your car until you park or leave the area.
2. There will be “flag ranks” where official flag bearers can wait for parked cars to leave the 30 kph zone.
3. There will be teamsters. Operating on their own or in combination with flag brearers, they will PUSH your vehicle through the 30 kph zone. The fee they charge can be offset against the diesel or petrol you save.
4. The air will be free of petrol or diesel fumes. All you’d smell is the sweat of the teamsters.
5. There will be people selling or renting out rugs. In winter, with the engine not running, a car will get cold very quickly. Selling or renting out rugs will create a whole new industry.
6. There will be teams of “car brakers”. With so many cars pushed through the streets with the engine off and the windows full of condensation, the drivers will only see obstructions at the very last moment. When they try to slam their brakes on, the car will not stop fast enough because the power brakes won’t work. Teams of brakers will wait at road junctions and save the day for motorists who cannot brake. The fee they charge will be less than your own insurance risk. Brakers will be very well paid but these concessions are hard to get by. Brakers are burly fellows, don’t try to get into their territory !
7. The brakers will be well connected to breakers. If you do not pay them, the breakers will take care of your vehicle.
8. All these activioties will provide a whole new range of JOBS. It will reduce unemployment by at least half of the male population. Even some sturdy females are applying!
9. As an additional benefit, these people all will be extraordinarily FIT. Come next Olympics and Irish Athletes will sweep the board – IN LONDON !
Now, if that is not genius, what is ?
A new board is being formed overseeing all these activities, called the Teamasters (already nicknamed the Minstrels).
You can apply for a concession to be a flag bearer or a teamster’s licence at their new office: 35 Fitzwilliam Square, D2.
Dont know why people are critical of the new incinerator in Dublin.
Dublin City Council politicians exude sufficient bullshit, to fuel a dozen new incinerators in Ringsend/Sandymount.!
Tirnanog33: How right you are. The one poxy incinerator they are now building is not sufficient to take care of the gobshit, let alone of the rest of the garbage that is produced all over Dublin.
Oh, I forgot: The incinerator is claimed to produce enough energy to heat, if I remember it well, 50.000 homes.
Why not make use of the politicians’ hot air? It could provide a source of energy sufficient for the whole country !
Who said politicians are useless ?
@tirnanog33. That is metaphorical bullshit, it is of no tangible value. In any event manure is best deployed as a fertilizer.
I have to admit: Stephen is right. Thank you for the metaphorical lecture on the economical value of manure
Flybynight, I consider myself quite an authority when it comes to talking shite.
Ladies and Gentlemen,Boys and Girls,
You can help here!
This is a list of Dublin City Council’s Traffic Committee members e-mail addresses, if you care anything at all about commercial traffic and not getting penalty points on a daily basis all because of the cyclist loving wing nuts in Dublin City council please mail the twats and instruct them to remove the 30kph zone restore it back to 50kph.
An emergency council meeting is coming up soon and with enough pressure these anti car eejits will be forced to reverse their decision.
E-mail them now!
Cllr. Andrew Montague (Lab.) – Chairperson and cycling wingnut!
andrewmontague@eircom.net (Chief Bottle Washer!)
Cllr. Aine Clancy (Lab.)
aine.clancy@dublincity.ie
Cllr. Maria Parodi (Lab.)
maria.parodi@dublincity.ie
Cllr. Michael Conaghan (Lab.)
michael.conaghan@dublincity.ie
Cllr. Henry Upton (Lab.)
henry.upton@dublincity.ie
Cllr. Edie Wynne (F.G.)
wynnee@eircom.net
Cllr. Mary O’Shea (F.G.)
mposhea2@eircom.net
Cllr. Eoghan Murphy (F.G.)
info@eoghanmurphy.ie
Cllr. Mary Fitzpatrick (F.F.)
mary.fitzpatrick@dublincity.ie
Cllr. Larry O’Toole (S.F.)
larry.otoole@dublincity.ie
Well Stephen , you are nowhere near as good as the people who wrote the Goodbody report.
And I bet, they don’t pay you the money they get, either.
Goodbody may have been relevant when it was written. Global economic meltdown soon followed!