Things Irish Taxi drivers might say to Joe Duffy

Special thanks to Spinal Tap over on the Forum: (Joe Duffy is an Irish radio presenter of the popular show “Liveline”

Joe, my driver license renewal went up 3000%.
Joe, I havta work 100 hours a week to make what I’d get on the dole.
Joe, I bought a car and the NTA said it’s too small to be used as a taxi.
Joe, I can’t get finance.
Joe, I can only transfer my license when I’m dead.
Joe, when theres garda checkpoints 5000 illegal taxis dissappear.
Joe, the Nigerians aren’t vetted.
Joe, the public does’nt care.
Joe, the regulator won’t meet with us.
Joe, I’m not entitled to social welfare.
Joe, I emigrated for 5 years, came back and now my license can’t be renewed.
Joe, I was attacked and robbed and the fella only got a caution. I picked him up again a few days later.
Joe, I’d be arrested if they found a screwdriver in my car.
Joe, I’m not allowed carry mace but I can carry a can of deoderant. Where’s the logic.
Joe, I never knew about all these new regulations.
Joe, I shouldn’t havta clean up vomit.
Joe, there’s all draconian age rules now.
Joe, 49 taxi drivers have committed suicide since the beginning of the year.
Joe, the dog doesn’t recognise me anymore.
Joe, the fella ye have on there doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Joe, it’s illegal to ask a customer for a deposit.
Joe, all we want is a level playing field.
Joe, there’s no money driving a taxi.
Joe, I bought four houses in the good times. Now the banks are coming after me.
Joe, I pay tax and insurance.
Joe, the taxi industry is the most regulated industry in ireland.
Joe, if I’m off the road I can’t make money.
Joe, I usta be able to take my roof sign off. the door stickers identify my taxi to robbers now.
Joe, I made a good living, not a great living.
Joe, I’ve a list of names of foreign drivers in my car.
Joe, we raised money to send a foreign driver home to see his sick mother.
Joe, my car just past the NCT but I’m told it can’t be used as a taxi anymore.
Joe, I havta replace my immaculate mercedes even though a wheelchair taxi can be used forever.
Joe, ye can be waiting there and only get a fare around the corner.
Joe, I’m not trained to use a fire extinguisher.
Joe, theres thousands of drivers with criminal convictions.
Joe, if the driver is not on the app he’s illegal.
Joe, the industry is ruined.
Joe, it’s too late to fix the industry.
Joe, who’d give me a job.
Joe, my insurance doubled for no reason.
Joe, I know a driver who was quoted nineteen grand for insurance.
Joe, I’ve nothing against the foreign drivers. That’s being honest.
Joe, there’s 6 enforcement officers to police 30,000 taxis.
Joe, I predicted all this years ago.
Joe, I don’t know how it’ll all end.
Joe, I don’t have to be able to speak English to drive a taxi.
Joe, the industry should be handed back to the guards.
Joe, I was waiting months for my psv license from the guards.
Joe, the taxi regulator is on six figures.
Joe, they’re only reading off a script.
Joe, I shouldn’t be in this predicament at this stage of my life.
Joe, the price of fuel is putting me out of business.
Joe, I keep getting cut off.
Joe, I forget what I was gonna say.
Joe, I havta go now.

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